BREAKING NEWS!

I'm sooo going to sweep next year's MY APARTMENT awards it's crazy! Most Ironic Wearing Of A Hat, Most Toilet Flushes, Best Ironic Scream Of "GET OFF MY LAWN" By An Apartment-Dweller, Best Use Of A Wrongly-Applied Tool (for my valiant effort to free a nail by using a samurai sword to chop away the wall), Best Frown, Worst Use Of A Crucifix and Most Creative Use Of The Word Cunt (which was just now)!