ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Nathan Martin is a total and complete freak. If you see him, avoid him like the motherfucking Plague! He’ll just drag you down.
Nathan Martin is an agoraphobic, psychopathic extrovert, which makes his life a living hell. He has already written hundreds of novels, comics, and movies, none of which will see the light of day with good reason. Although you shouldn’t make eye contact with him, please feel free to send him lots of money and drugs and food and alcohol to further his questionable lifestyle. Should you come in contact with him, shower for three hours and consult a physician. He’s good people.
Nathan Martin (1684-1891) is historically regarded as the sole author of this work. Despite having no talent in any field, he is also the founding member of a roll and rock band, Behind God’s Back, and cult leader for The MultiCult Empire. Other than that, he doesn’t exist, never did, and that’s all you need to know.
Nathan Martin wishes he were someone else. Especially if that someone else happened to be romantically involved with Jenny Wright or Maggie Gyllenhaal or Molly Ringwald (still?!) or Radha Mitchell or Mia Kirshner or Chan Marshall or Marci Klein (SNL hottie) or Asia Argento or Amelie Poulain or Sherilyn Fenn or Björk or that crazy-gorgeously-cute lady (the brunette) from Sports Night or . . . Or to put it a different way, he’s just a loser with a very, VERY overactive imagination.
About the Author
Nathan Martin has hugged Tori Amos and gotten high with Joe Walsh. He’s also just petty enough to mention things like that.
Stephen King lives in Maine with his family. This is one of the books he did not write.
Nate dislikes* politics, religion, and sweet potatoes. In no particular order.
(*hates)
Nathan Martin is a professional liar and a manic depressive. His future projects include becoming one of the FBI’s Most Wanted, finding the tenth, eleventh and twelfth planets in our solar system and slander.
Nathan Martin is an advocate of living for the moment, even if it means screwing up your future.
Nathan Martin was also raised the son of a black share-cropper, but he is not related to Steve Martin through blood.
Nathan Martin is one of Nate Martin’s least creative pseudonyms. He was young when he thought of it.
Nathan Martin currently resides at the Coen Psychiatric Center in Minnesota. This is his thirty-second book, nearly completing his forty book outreach program.
Nathan Martin was born in Indiana. Then he lived in Utah, Iowa, Illinois, Minnesota, California, Colorado, Texas, Arkansas and Michigan. He’s slept in most of the other states, too. States like Florida, Alabama, Canada, New York and Nevada. Goal #5627: Puke from too much tequila, on the moon. He hasn't been there yet, LSD aside.
Nathan Martin has an alibi. You’ve got nothing on him. He can prove it.
Nathan Martin is the kind of person that would mention rubber chickens in an about-the-author mini-bio.
“Nate’s okay.” - a friend
Nate: 81% Water
19% Other
Nathan Martin writes books and stories and comics and movies just so he can publish these stupid little about-the-author blurbs. He really doesn’t quite have a life yet, and worries he’ll never have enough published work to justify his rather nasty “about-the-author-mini-bio” creating habit. Alas, there are no programs that offer help for this ailment. Really. He checked. So this is what he does. Publishes them all at once at the end of a “book” (for even that should be in quotes on a project of this “freelantitude”) designed to solely be an output for ABOUT THE AUTHOR blurbs. He also wants to make lots of movies so he can do shitloads of DVD extras and commentaries. Like a 90 minute movie with twenty-seven+ hours of behind the scenes footage and nine commentaries. A good seven disk package for a 90m flick. That's how he "IS". . .
about the author : Nathan Martin has many names. Most of them are either gimmicks or just plain pretentious. Lets not worry about it.
Nate eats more ramen than the average 100 people in any given month. He also has a damn fine collection of zombie movies. Due to this fact, he is also co-host to the annual 24 hour zombie movie marathon in the Ypsi-Arbor area, and, just so he’s multi-faceted, he also co-chairs the annual 24 hour Mystery Science Theater 3000 marathon. For free. He’s so selfless. Almost a martyr. I love him.
The lazily collected conglomeration of scientific phenomena referred to as Nathan Martin lives in the United States and complains about it.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
He says you should read some Phil Dick novels then some Robert Anton Wilson. Then you should do a lot more reading and a lot of dangerous drugs and completely lose your mind and go through a series of nervous breakdowns while being homeless for several years. Then read this book. It will probably be even more fun to read that way, don’t you think?
Nathan Daniel Martin did not kill Jesus. And he probably wouldn’t. It would take a lot more provocation than showed the dirty scumbag swill who did. For sure.
Nathan Martin has been existing for a decent clip now and usually uses a house or apartment to make things more convenient, what with all the stuff and all. Sometimes he makes up a bunch of stuff and then filters it through media. Also, as his heartbeat has seemingly not stopped yet, he is usually referred to by the word “alive.”
This is not entirely accurate.
He’s gotten sloppy and people wonder. I’m just saying.
Martin, Nathan
is the preferred alphabetization of the name Nathan Martin.
Good ol’ Nate, as he hopes nobody calls him, was born after the summer of love and before the big disco thing. Pretty much.
Nathan Martin invented the little symbol you use after words to indicate that they are blue. He is also unmarried, has no children, and still lives in Michigan due to an unfortunate slowing down of his nomadic tendencies. Look for him to finally choose a permanent residence soon.
Nahtna mnartin livfes in mivhigan and jhis all happy flowiers and stuff. Ggoooody fgooosy. Ighnore this wehowle about the authoer thing.
Nate: I wrote the dang-hell-HECK out of this stuff!
