20 March 2010


(St. Louis, MO) Area man still feeling guilty for certain actions taken in high school. "I'm sorry," claims man. According to neighbor, Carly Simon, he "makes all kinds of weird noises (in his apartment) at night." When asked for a formal statement, the man only said, "Time travel seems like it should be possible. So much regret. Can't get hands clean." Tom Petty had no comment.


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