03 April 2010


all your standard favorites really:
Bed Bugs Bite
Average Rubber Band (surviving members of Average White Band)
Bleeding Heart Band-aids
Tumors for Two
Headstrong Sympathy
Preteen Foreplay
The television show
All the Presidents' Wives (soap)
The Tall Cameras
Believe it or DIE! (game show)
The Pauly Shore Talent Hour (15 minutes)
M*A*S*H: Voyager
The Angry Grandmas (late night)
Shut the Fuck Up (talk show)
Smooth Like Silk
Shotglasses and Shotguns
The Ripe Vessels
Why are They Now? (spin-off from Where are They Now?)
Before They Were Whores (they used to be cool)
Election (Movie spin-off, only 3 episodes per season)
Outdoing Divine (contestants try to 1-up the end of Pink Flamingos)
The Peatmoss Show
Pissing for Dollars
Fisting: The 20/20 Report
Yen and Yang (Japanese prostition expose [x-pose-a])
Buying for Minors (reality cop show)
Lolita (children's programming)
Oral Fixations (CENSORED)
Ready for Prime-Time Players (the new season of snl)
Pus for Pounds (British game show where you win one pound note for each ounce of pus you drink before vomiting)
Real or Not? (video clips of people doing the stupidest fucking shit ever, and
contestants have to guess if it's real or staged. Very difficult.)
People Watch Anything (fill in this blank)
Baywatch G.E.D. (hot babes try and try to learn)
Coca-Cola Polar Bears (children's [brain]programming)
panty huggers on dope.
crazy necktie experience.
back to wendy balsam.
check for lice.
granny handbag waltz number eighteen.
probably greed.
it had to be food.
grab apple three thousand (the game show).
disco detective.
forget about the riots (the sitcom).
storm shield (the talk show).
funky spinster.
garbage rider (the sports car action series).
my favorite wallet (the pbs special).
playhouse of numbers (the early morning children programming).
this is fucking nuts (the sunday night fox special).
singing crank robbers.
Television sucks (tonight at nine on nbc).
you can't do that on a nature preserve (the nickelodeon sketch comedy show).
my god, is that real?
give me your money (hosted by you know who).
where's the anecdote?
who's fine is it anyway (gimmicky balltard)?
People and shotguns.
the happy show.
canned laughter.
gimme a mothafuckin break, gee (hbo, dudes).
world's stupidest commercials (part 8471.72).
cram the money.
aspiring milkmen.
fresh prince.
The not-so-fresh feeling hour
family shambles.
alien bullfrog.
get fresh kids.
purple pop star.
73rd annual sellout awards.
crowd noise (half hour programming).
camp david.
gratuitous makeup.
gee whiz.
baking bits (the talk show).
can't stop the magic (another fox special).
someday you will die (not a primetimer, dudes).
Camp Value.
17 hours (three seasons).
dig it.
the zoxyl family (sci-fi sitcom).
my friend the arab (banned).
could be.
i'm on tv!
my friend is gay (and black!).
name that tv theme.
my three punks (gimmicky bathrobe).
my dad asshole.
ground water.
escape from grandma.
talking water (yep).
the microsoft comedy hour (hosted by you know who).
oh, i get it.
please clean the toilet.
zero zero zero over zero zero zero.
oh, jeez!
pick it up and go!
do these make sense anymore?
what is dialogue?
this is a title you know.
for a show.
that was just one.
as was that one.
and so on (self reflexivity is suplimentable material to this DeViated Decree).
free stuff!
when the wave paths work you're fucking screwed.
sit and wait, chief.
bargain basal mints.
dot com company [nbc saturday night drama (after nash bridges)].
Wasteland Express (the whole show takes place on a train, circa 1954).
that sound good to me.
Camp Electric.
Wine straight from the bottle.
good times (asphalt remix).
bragging rights (reality based).
the sugar salesman.
can't beat meat.
history of burnt books (1999-2000).
Y2K (the mini-series).
how lighters work (pbs again, dudes).
single handed (starring the olsen twins).
world's zaniest answering machine messages.
heart of glue (the soap opera).
camera short.
scratch paper (the sitcom about the starving artist).
ingmar attitudes (the a&e original program adapting ingmar bergman's movies to televison for a modern audience).
can i get one?
this is stupid.
reach for it dammit!
kings of navalingo.
wait up, man.
Slowly I turned
I heard a rumor.
guitar solo (public access).
races (the nashville network).
ween tv.
(for that matter) Tape-beatles tv).
listen to the radio.
Looking at Radios
This is stupid (updated cast).
i've met the people that you read about in books.
i've been to college.
Jamaica House (abc thurday night after Kirby in the Hood).
i can't get no.
who can figure out such devices (that's a rip off, dudes)?
american spirits (lights, in the yellow pack).
that girl sucks.
High school cult.
The Secret Adventures of Goobly Gimmix (the saturday morning series).
fun on tape!
Bikini bowlers.
word working shit.
hey, i work on cars too!
under your hat.
jesus freaks (upn staple).
Damn blasted (yet another fox special)!
cannibal tracks.
cellar sellers.
django at Astoria (pbs).
cram of the crop.
that movie is awesome (thumbs up).
crank wrappers (edgy wb drama).
building blocks (eh?).
black and silly (public access).
crybaby surprise (reality based).
shoebox enterprise (public access sci-fi).
i can't stand my name (the game show).
You know, for kids (the website bought out by the studio chiefs that was subsequently turned into the weekly tv version of the hudsucker proxy).
i can't watch this.
the problem with keith.
my pockets are full (sitcom).
fill it with iron (mini-series).
creature from san jose.
jungle mishaps.
party while the parents are away on vacation (mtv, dudes).
The sociology of everything (pbs half hour special).
qwerty youth.
The last show ever (Y3K sci-fi 7 hour movie event)
The closet door (Saturday mornings)
Jiffy Lube Porn-Off (spice channel)
My mother the Interocitor
Navy Lingo-a-thon
The Jerry Garcia Joke-a-thon (Jerry's Kids)
Catpower : The Next Generation
Devo Fucks Your Girlfriend Live on NBC!

1 comment:

  1. This is a really long list and I really don't watch much TV to begin with.