03 April 2010


There's this group of good guys. They do all these creative crimes against the pig power structures. They travel a lot doing their missions. They steal import merchandise from the bad guys. Then they're chased out of Amsterdam and finally settle in a small Irish village for a couple years. The merchandise eventually arouses suspicion with locals. KGB, CIA, the mafia, yakuza, etc track the rumors and locate the people. Big fight scene. All but one of the good guys gets killed. The merchandise is stolen by some bad guys. Sole good guy chases all the bad guys and kills them all believably and gets the money, other stuff, and a beautiful ex-hostage babe. Babe double-crosses guy and in a bizarre attempt on his life, she inadvertently kills both of them. Stray cats eat most of their stuff, and the money all melts because it was really an ice cream decoy. Some other guy, someone's brother avenging the brother's death, beats all the bad guys' bad guy replacements but doesn't get much stuff because stray cats have eaten most of it. (The stray cats should be computer generated and very, very spooky.) New hero takes the real money and invests it wisely and is very rich in only six years. Also meets mysterious woman with a past. Fall in love. Walks by the beach, feeding pigeons, slow motion scenes in soft light with slow love song in background. Sex scene. Then at the lovers' mutual climax, bad guys break in and chase the naked couple across Europe. The pope gets assassinated for no discernable reason (see idea for first sequel) and war is threatened. The naked lovers save the day and the world is safe again. The lovers are arrested on their way home for indecent exposure and put in jail. Paperwork gets mixed up and they are both put to death. The orphan they adopted earlier sues the police for tons of money and goes on killing spree. The police don't know it's him and he terrorizes the city two years before the big chase scene where he gets blown up on a bridge. The old hero that was thought to be dead comes back to avenge the replacement hero's death against the families of the dead bad guys or something, but then decides instead to help the U.N. kill all the giant monsters that suddenly went berserk and started destroying all our major cities. It turns out that giant monsters are hyper-lactose-intolerant and they all die big grand I.L.M. deaths after being fed lots of cookies and milk. (Lucrative product tie-in possibilities with the Milk Council built into story. BIG $!) Hero and new true love run away to hide. But they'll be back! And so will their action figures and playsets and CCGs and video games and more!

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